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Which was the first Elder Scrolls game you played?

Friday, 21 October 2011


I like bears - they speak to me (Not literally.) Therefore, I was very disappointed with the bears in Oblivion - and I was like 13 years back then; I had next to no standards. Why was the bears disappointing, you ask? They were puny! Bears are supposed to be large, threatening and majestic, causing you to cower in fear as they broaden their massive body in an attempt to frighten us, whilst they neatly extract their razor-sharp claws and bash us with their uncontrollably strong paws, breaking every bone in our relatively weak soon-to-be-crushed cranium.

They didn't do that.
They were small and laughable. Puny! PUNY! The puniness of the puny bears, was so puny that it was puny by puniness standards!

But never again! I've spotted bears twice now, as I've been covering Skyrim and the first time made me shiver in fear for them being puny again - I'm referring to the picture of a player with a "bound bow," about to blow a little brown bear to hell. It had me worried that that was all we were going to get, but after seeing a bear in the recent GTTV footage, I'm convinced that the bear from the picture is a fricken cub!

The GTTV bear is the fricken most dangerous thing I've ever seen! Finally the bears get the respect they deserve! It stand up on its two legs, showing off its brute and intimidating figure, and roars in rage. Da-da-da-da-daaaaam - I'm lovin' it!


  1. But mate, when we look at this picture, it seems like the bear ain't - that close - and it's also downwords from our.. "friend" there with the bow and arrow...
    Which could say because of the distance and the angle we see the bear, it makes it look smaller.

    So I don't think little, Teddy here, is so small as he looks at the picture!

    And I agree with you on the fact that bears were too small in Oblivion! And they were kind of goofy..

    - Mike

  2. Allow me to add my newly acquired picture of the other bear and let you compare

  3. That moment when he freezes the bear and it just falls to the ground was so fucking amazing

  4. RUUUUN!
    -( )-
    A A

    Well.. That is suposed to be a scared guy...

    One word to that bear... HUGE! (O.O)
    I like it!

    - Mike

  5. errrr ... what happened to the guy!? :(

    He was so awsome.. now his torso is squashed and his left leg is broken off and sat at a wrong spot ... terrible terrible bear! He KILLED HIM!!!

    - MIke

  6. Why no talk of squid bears

  7. Well, Ted - I'm not sure how I should put this, but you've reached a certain age and you deserve to know. You know all those stories you've heard... Well... They are not true, Ted. The Squidbear isn't real. I'm sorry that you had to find out this way.

  8. I attempted writing my gf a romantic letter in the dragon language:/

  9. Don't. They don't like that. Trust me.

  10. You don't know my gf -evil smile-