You did the crime (of course,) now how do you do the time?

A little follow-up to my crime article.

Amidst my adventure through life, I realized that I had not explained what happened if you are a fool and get caught. You assume jail time? Correct. Although there is more to it than in Oblivion.

As I explained previously, there are 9 regions in Skyrim, each with their own, individual bounty for your luscious head. If you do a bad thing in region A, there won't be a bounty on your head in region B. Simple as that.

Should you wreak havoc across each and every region and fail to make sure that the witnesses are sleeping with the fishes, then you might find yourself in a situation where escape isn't an option.

You eventually get caught and need to serve some time, given that you can't pay up. Now here is the difference: Each region have different jails. We don't exactly know what types of jails yet, but there are at least 9 different, so I kinda want to set fire to crops and rob merchants just to find out what they look like on the inside. You can of course serve your time as intended, or you can try and make a daring escape (probably via lockpick.)

So who is excited to enter the world of Skyrim to assassinate Nobles and take their money to give it to the poor? I know I am, 'cause I can't wait to see the poor peoples faces when I kill one of them and take it back, as well as set everything on fire as a follow-up.

I kid, I kid. Of course I won't do that. Would you?

Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time!

Crime has always been a funny part of The Elder Scrolls. Heck, it has always been a fun part of every game! It's basically what the GTA series is founded on.

In Oblivion, crime was funny. Yet, we were baffled when we killed loner, with no one around, and then when we went ran into a guard, he magically knew about it. Seriously! You could commit a crime one place, and then everyone would instantly know about it.

The guards were fricken crazy! In the final stage of a side quest called "paranoia," Glarthir tasks you with killing everyone you've claimed to be "spying on him." Since he surprisingly rich for a town nut-case, naturally you accept. When I did it, I went into a house in the middle of night, no one spotted me. I sneaked up to my targets bedroom and murdered him in his sleep. In spite of not being noticed at all, a guard came running into the house 5 seconds later. Well, excuse my tone, but WTF is that all about?

Heck, half the time I didn't even know what I had done wrong! I just walked from one city to another and as soon as I arrived, all I could hear was "Stop right there, criminal scum!" The omnipotent ability of guards has since been known as the "scum sense." A pun on spiderman's Spidy-sense.

Now to the good, no, great news! Skyrim will be nothing like that! First of all, when you steal something, every merchant in the world won't instantly know that it is stolen and refuse to buy it. Since there is a thieves guild, there will probably still be fences, though.

Also, the guards won't instantly know if you've committed a crime. Should you choose to kill an innocent man on his stroll through the forest, go ahead! Should a nearby person, whose presence you didn't pay heed to, notice your 3rd degree murder and necessary mutilation of the body, he will either try to stop you or run away. What happens if he get away? He'll probably tell on you! Can't have that can we? NO! You storm after him and shoot a well-placed arrow at him, piercing his skull. Huzzah! A message will display that you've killed all witnesses and you are safe and sound from the long arm of the law.

Apart from the new "witnesses system," which I would just like to say, is virtually sex, you will also be enticed with the fact that there now are 9 regions, each with their own individual bounties, instead of just one international bounty. For example, should you brutally ra... Erh, hit a woman in region A, then the only bounty on your head that will raise, is that of region A. You can go to region B, and they'll know nothing of it, or at least not care. The reason for this is that every region is governed by noble houses. Since there is a civil war, the land is split and your actions one place, doesn't affect your standings in another.

So there we go! No omnipotent guards or merchants! 9 different regions, with individual bounties! Witnesses that can be chased and killed. Can this get any better? I think not! Boner!